Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Time check: 12.07 am.
It's unfair on how I actually treat this blog of mine abandon for a few days, when I actually have the time to update. Why not update a little something on life?
Well, life was pretty much ups and downs, which was mostly down, because everything turned haywire suddenly. I got so stressed up with a lot of stuff in my mind, be it tests, projects, school works, relationships. I've been trying really hard to stay strong and go through this alone. But guess that, I was too weak to face the reality. I was afraid to face everything. I cried over something small, and I couldn't control my emotion. I'm not sure what happen to Ayiera, we were so happy at one time, but avoiding each other at the other time.
A little something for you:
I suck at relationship. Is it wrong to spend your little precious time with me, when I didn't ask anything more except for your love? You've been so different towards me nowadays. You told me not to think negatively, but you made me think that way, because of your own action. I cried in front of you, but you doesn't seem to care a single bit, and what makes me hurt even more was you were singing when I actually cried in front of your face. Why do you have to be so mean? You spend the whole week inside the camp with your friends, and I only have Saturday to meet you. But you thought that I was being unfair towards you for not giving you permission to go out with your friends and enjoy yourself. Oh well, if you think that it's not even important to meet me, forget it. Just forget about meeting up on every Saturdays. I can just forget about you and enjoy myself outside. But why do I still even care about you? Because I love you, and I don't have the heart to hurt you. Friends are important to you, but are they there to lend you a helping hand when you're in trouble? Are they the one who are willing to be there for you throughout your hard times? Are they the one helping you out with your army paper work? If that's a yes to all your answers, don't come and find me no more, because, you know that your loved ones are not important in your life anymore. You will only come to realize and knock some sense to your brain when you need something. I was utterly dissapointed in you, sweetheart.
But whatever it is, you know that, at the end of the day, I'm the one you'll be searching for, and I'll be right here for you whenever you need me. If you think I'm useless, throw me far far away from you. I'll give whatever freedom you need just for the sake of your happiness, but please remember, you are old enough to think wisely of what you're doing or going to do. You're going to be 20 in about a month time, so please don't give me nonsense attitude.
You know that I was hurt with all your words and actions today. But that doesn't mean, my love for you have fade away. Just think if what you did was right. I love you.
