Feels like a fresh bout of hormones is flooding in. Feeling very confused about a lot of things right now. Feel lost. I don't think I've felt like this since my naive lower secondary years. It feels horribly unorthodox. I just want to sort everything out. I want to make everything okay again. I've been trying to study the entire day but I can't seem to concentrate. I think I need chocolates or something - it always does the trick. And yes call me a nerd, but I'm ditching my girlfriends this afternoon. Or more like for a clearer conscience and a peace of mind. Go figure. I'm tired of trying so hard to please everyone, and I seriously don't need anyone to justify my actions. Just don't go hating me now, I'm not very pleased with myself either.
I'm tired of putting up with you. Amazing how it got on so long, isn't it? But I guess it is about time everyone realise that whatever you say will only be empty promises, whatever you do will be for your benefit, and whatever you think is not worth taking into consideration. Stop saying you'll change, cause we all know you never will. What's with all the lies? False hope won't get us anywhere instead of back to where we started. You say you cannot do anything about it, but do you even freaking try? You don't give a damn, do you. So why should we? I honestly cannot think of how you can live with yourself. So just shut up and keep your words to yourself cause they'll mean nothing to me anymore. Keep waiting for the day when we're all out of your list of responsibilities, cause we're waiting too. Carry on waiting for the day the miracle that will never happen. Just keep putting on the fucking facade and live a crappy lie. You've disappointed me more times than I can remember, but damn if I'm going to let it happen again.
I don't think I'm the best of girlfriends. I get impatient, extremely prone to PMS (don't say a word, Shaa), and I always have a lot on my mind. I'm stubborn too, and sometimes I want to have things my way. But somehow boyfy doesn't mind (I think)(uh-oh, someone's got a screw loose.) I guess I should be really greatful for that. Cause I can honestly say that I have a really great boyfriend.
Boyfy has been busy nowadays. He's now into school, work and other important stuff. Guess I shouldn't disturb him for now. If there was one word that I could use to describe boyfy (there are others, of course. And not just due to my extensive vocabulary, or lack thereof), it would be stubborn. I think I have mentioned this before, but I can't seem to emphasive it enough. Sometime I feel like ripping my hair out, other times I nearly do. But I guess that is part of why I love him. I don't think I can imagine an un-stubborn Ayie. I would come up with more adjectives, but my "extensive" vocabulary seems to be failing me. And my computer keeps stalling, bollocks, which really doesn't help. But still, I LOVE HIM LIKE NO ONE DO!
School has fallen into a very typical cycle. I won't say it's mundane. It just very routine. Nothing new ever seems to happen. But i guess i shouldn't be taking it for granted. One thing i know for sure, i will miss secondary school life. Best make the most of it now.
Let's mug together, people! Endurance is the key to success.
I LOVE YOU AYIE!
10 more days to 8 months anniversary.
Feels like a fresh bout of hormones is flooding in. Feeling very confused about a lot of things right now. Feel lost. I don't think I've felt like this since my naive lower secondary years. It feels horribly unorthodox. I just want to sort everything out. I want to make everything okay again. I've been trying to study the entire day but I can't seem to concentrate. I think I need chocolates or something - it always does the trick. And yes call me a nerd, but I'm ditching my girlfriends this afternoon. Or more like for a clearer conscience and a peace of mind. Go figure. I'm tired of trying so hard to please everyone, and I seriously don't need anyone to justify my actions. Just don't go hating me now, I'm not very pleased with myself either.
