Monday, May 28, 2007
dear Hym,
ue said i'd always be ur princess, but now the tymes have changed. i sit here n wonder, for now my mind starts to wonder. are ue still the prince ue used to be? or something different tt i dun see. ue used to held miie in ur arms. made miie smile with ur gentle charm. it made miie love ue soo much. just the feel of ur touch, i felt protected, safe. but this love was too unreal. it was taunted. i gave ue my trust, but maybe my love was just lust? who knows? i cant fix the past or undo. but i know our tyme is n was way overdue. i dunnoe y i continue to try. guess i love ue too much n get carried away. these feelings i have i dun always show. but the feelings of emptiness, without ue by my side makes my heart filled with sadness until it makes my feelings hard to hide. things r just changing between us.
everything between us was over. tt's how i gt it. ue said ue wanted everything to stop going on between us. but it didnt mean tt i would quit. but ue had the power now and i was all alone. i cried n cried. my heart was wholly torn. i tried my hardest to forget everything but there have been lots of things between us. i was just wondering what to do. even if ue never loved miie, still ue were my 'fren', and even if i knew i would never get ue, i loved ue till the end. wen ue heard bout my love now, ue didnt talk to me at all, ue tried to make miie change my mind, ue tried to make miie fall. well, ue didnt succeed my friend. cus i learnt how to go on without ue, the golden tickets was in my hands, tt was wen i knew wat to do. or maybe not. i dun noe. i dun have the answer. im not soo sure. every next step was new n unknown. so i just had to make my decision fast; orelse my shame would be shown. but seeing ue always made miie weak. i was soo stressed n looked lyke a freak. even if those days r gone, n even if i know they'll never be back, i miss n miss tem' all the tyme, looking for ways to have ue back. i try so hard to tell myself tt u're gone forever. are those days gonna come back? NEVER.
they were all lies. maybe ue didnt mean to hurt miie, but now tears fill my eyes. i knew tt this was risky from the start. i knew tt someone would get hurt. n now it's my broken heart. i wish i could believe ue wen ue sae everything is the same, but i have a fair idea tt she is the one tt made it all change. dun tink i dunnoe all tis. u're leaving miie bcus ue still loved the girl ue admired. i know tis is too much for ue but the things ue said had the consequences. pls dont say things tt r not true. to me, ue sae ue love miie. to her, ue sae ue love her. n now i noee wad happens wen i cannot see. i cant judge on wat i hear though i wan to noe the truth. but its obviously clear. my nightmares of losing ue have come true. much to my dismay but i didnt tink it would be so soon.
i wonder how its lyke wen im no longer be with ue by my side anymore. day n night i kept thinking bout ue. thnks alot for loving miie, taking care of miie n also concern bout miie. wen we meet again, treat tt as our last seeing each other n wen i call ue, treat tt as my last call to ue. i promise ue tt ue r always in my heart. remember this as my last note for ue.
with love,
Her
